Kids From Yesterday - Saving Logan
by MyChemicalKilljoy
Summary: Prequel/Side-Story to the fic Hear Me Now. Following the lives of the Walkers pre-ODIN strike, then following the Ghosts as they continue their search for Logan. Eventual Keegan/OC in "Saving Logan."
1. Terrible Things

_**Hello, and welcome to the prequel/side-story for Hear Me Now! If you haven't read that then... Then it actually won't matter until we hit Part 2. So it's completely up to you!  
This would've been up sooner, but I kind of got addicted to the new Thief game and I've been planning out a fic for that aaaaaand working on my proper book sequel too. I've been busy haha! But anyway, we are kicking this off with the most heart-breaking chapter I've written to date (if you want the full effect, listen to Terrible Things while reading *sobs*) . They won't all be so emotional, but a few more of these chapters will be from Elias' POV. I'll start every one with the name of whoever's narrating the story to save confusion and um, I think that's it! Enjoy :) x**_

_**(oh yeah, p.s. I'm sorry about the weird ending. It's like 5 in the morning over here **_**again**_** and I have no idea what I'm doing anymore. I'll make up for it I promise)**_

* * *

**Part 1; **  
**Kids From Yesterday**

* * *

_Please don't be sad now,_  
_I really believe you were the greatest thing that ever happened to me._

_- Terrible Things (Mayday Parade)_

* * *

**Elias Walker**  
**2005**  
**San Diego, California**

* * *

Maggie was the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on. She had the most deep, piercing blue eyes that sparkled when she laughed her joyous wind-chime laugh. She had the silkiest, raven black hair that glistened like ink when it spilled down her back in those soft, flowing waves. She had full, pink lips that stretched into the most wondrous of grins. Her skin was pale, creamy and velvet to the touch. And from the second she said hello, I knew that I would be spending the rest of my life with her.

Gabriel couldn't see what I saw, but he had always leaned more towards the blondes. While he had been busy screwing around, I had been busy falling in love with Maggie. She would write to me whenever I got deployed, and she'd be there to welcome me back with open arms and a shower of kisses. We'd spend our nights together under a glittering canvas of stars with a few bottles of the finest wine we could get our hands on, just talking and getting to know each other inside out. She was intelligent and funny; head-strong and sweet. She was a blazing comet, a magnificent storm, a radiant sun, and she was everything I had ever wanted and more.

I proposed to her with a ring I had picked up on my tour of Iraq. It had been nothing special, just a golden band with a blue gem stone encrusted into it. I'd wrapped it up in a small box with plain, brown paper and tied it with a thin piece of string. If I could have given her a swanky, diamond ring presented on red satin, I would have, but simple and elegant was the only thing I could afford at the time. I had taken her to our favourite spot atop our favourite hill to watch the sunset when I got home and listed off everything I loved about her, right down to the way she sucked her teeth when she was thinking and the way she cracked her fingers when she was nervous. Remembering the way a single tear had slipped down one of her rosy cheeks when she'd said yes would forever be one of my favourite memories.

Our wedding hadn't been a big affair, but it had been enough. Seeing her walk down the aisle in her cream coloured silk dress, I'd known that I was ready to start a real life with her. It was something we had discussed before, and it was something we discussed again a few months after we were husband and wife. Nine months after that talk, she gave birth to a boy who was her spitting image. We called him David.

Not long after David was born, Maggie told me she wanted another baby, a girl preferably. I would've given her the world if she'd asked for it, so if her dream was to mother two children, I wouldn't be the one to tell her no.

A year later, Logan was born. I was thrilled to have two males. Maybe they would follow in my footsteps and become a soldier, or maybe they would be incredibly talented at a sport. I was looking forward to the football tournaments and the baseball games as they grew into themselves. But as much as Maggie loved them, all she had to do was bat her eyes, slide out her bottom lip and express her desire for a girl.

Third time lucky, and she got her wish. I was half expecting Ella to have blonde hair like Logan, but when I held her in my arms for the first time, I thought I was looking at David. Black hair and blue eyes, just like their mother.

Everything had been perfect. Now, instead of star-gazing with my girlfriend when I was off duty, I was singing lullabies to my three beautiful children with my wife. I was teaching David how to talk, Logan how to walk and Ella how to crawl. I felt the way my heart expanded when I heard David's first words, when Logan smiled into my face for the first time and when Ella gripped one of my fingers with all of hers for the first time. I saw the way Maggie glowed when she was around them all, and the emotions that rocked me was almost crippling sometimes. I finally had my own family, and it was nothing short of brilliant.

Then there was Operation Sand Viper. If I had known what was going to come out of it, I would've probably turned it down without a second thought. I would've hung up my boots there and then if I had just _known_.

Sixty of us were sent out to defend a hospital against five hundred hostiles. Five _hundred_. The fight lasted three long, exhausting days, and even with Gabriel by my side, there were moments where I was convinced that I would never see my kids grow up; I would never see Maggie again. When there was only fifteen of us left, I used that sick sense of fear to fuel my basic instinct to just _survive_. All I had to do was make the rest of the guys promise to never bring up that day to my wife. I didn't want Maggie to know I had killed a line of enemy soldiers with my bare hands - it was too much for anyone to hear.

Once the fight was finally over, those of us who were left got shipped out to Germany for a psychological examination. Surprise, surprise, neither of us were in tip-top shape. Gabriel was the closest one to sanity despite it all, and it was through him that the rest of us got back on our feet. Unknowingly, he had whipped us into shape to carry on our duties as Task Force: STALKER.

But as much as I had grown to depend on the guys, I needed to get home. There was still the risk of being called back out at any given moment in time, though Gabriel had promised me he would try and give me as much time as he possibly could to recuperate with Maggie, the boys and Ella.

* * *

The second I walked through the door, I was struck with an awful, uneasy sensation. One that made me wish that I had stayed in Germany.

'Maggie?'

'Elias? Is that you?' Her voice floated through from the living room and I followed it cautiously. She normally ran to meet me, excited and teary-eyed with relief to see me alive and in one piece.

'Daddy!' David came thundering down the stairs and threw himself towards me before I could so much as take a step. I didn't hesitate in swooping down to hoist him into my arms.

'Hey, kiddo.' My grip on him tightened protectively and I squeezed my eyes shut to savour the sweet moment of reunion. More pattering footsteps had them snapping open again just in time to see Logan wrapping himself round one of my legs, 'Someone needs a hair cut!' I ruffled his blonde mop in greeting and was rewarded with a beaming, toothy grin, 'Where's your mom?'

'Through here.' Logan slid his hand into mine and led me slowly through to where Maggie lay on the sofa. Ella was squashed by her side, twirling two thick strands of her hair round and round into an awkward looking knot. That was the the first red flag.

'Hi.' It came out as a breathy sigh when I locked eyes with her. They were tired and lacking the usual spark I had grown so used to. Second red flag.

'Hey.' She smiled. It was weak and crooked. Third red flag, 'How are you?'

'All the better now I'm home.' I forced myself to grin and set David down on the carpet next to his action figures where him and Logan promptly began playing a loud game of aliens versus humans, 'What about you?' Even as the words rolled from my tongue, I knew I was going to regret them.

'Not so good.' Her smile faltered and she glanced at Ella, 'You gonna move so mommy can sit up?' Ella nodded and scrambled over Maggie to get onto my lap instead. She was four now, and was still getting used to talking, so all that came out was a garbled sentence that I interoperated as "Welcome home, Daddy."

'Hello, sweetheart.' I kissed her forehead and nodded towards the boys, 'Wanna join in?' With three fingers in mouth, she thought about it. By the time she nodded enthusiastically, there was drool over her hands and then all over my arms when I plunked her next to Logan.

'Elias...' Maggie winced when she pushed herself into a sitting position. Fourth red flag. Trying not to worry, I moved to help her. I kept my arm curled round her shoulder and frowned when it felt wrong. Had she lost weight? Fifth red flag.

'What's wrong?' Another question I wished I'd never asked.

'It's...' She drew in a jagged breath and pulled away from me by a fraction. She lifted one of her hands to my cheek and I flinched at the icy coolness of her fingertips. _Sixth_ red flag. Hesitantly, I met her gaze. There were lines etched into her skin that hadn't been there before. _Seventh _red flag, 'I'm sick, Elias.'

A roll of nausea rocked me. I swallowed hard, 'How sick?'

'Very.' She expelled a weary sigh and leaned her forehead against my chest, 'The doctor's only given me a few more weeks.' The world stopped spinning. My heart stopped beating. My blood stopped pumping. My lungs stopped working. _Everything. Stopped_.

'Maggie-' I choked off when I realised I couldn't talk properly around the burning lump rising up from the base of my throat. Hot tears sprung to my eyes and there was nothing I could do to keep them from spilling, 'Please, no.' I dipped my head and found her left hand, found her wedding ring. It was the diamond I'd wanted to buy her before. I twisted it gently round her skinny little finger and fought hard against a gut-wrenching sob.

'Shh.' Her voice was quiet and soothing as she pulled me against her. She stroked my hair and traced circles down my spine, uttering sweet nothings into my ear while I tried to pull myself back together for the kids sake, 'It's okay, darling, it's okay. It's all going to be okay.'

_How_? I wanted to scream, _How will anything be okay if you're not here_?

Wiping savagely at my cheeks, I lifted my head and pressed a soft, gentle kiss against her dry lips while the rest of the world came crashing down around me.

* * *

We made every single day count since the day she broke the news to me. She had cancer, and she hadn't caught it in time. She'd already lost the battle with it before she even had the chance to fight.

Maggie grew weaker with every passing week, and my heart broke every time I watched her interact with our children, every time they laughed at a silly joke she made, every time they begged her to get up to watch the morning cartoons with them. It was becoming painfully obvious that it was almost too hard for her to even tuck them in at night.

I had called Gabriel the day she told me she was just going to stay in bed, and the very same night, he was standing at my door, ready to take as much of the weight off of my shoulders as he could. Maggie was happy to see him, and she joked about how awful it was that she had to be dying for him to come and visit. They'd laughed, and I'd wanted to vomit. I was glad she wasn't scared of death, but at the same time, I couldn't stand her treating it so lightly.

As a soldier, I had to live every day of my life wondering if that would be the day I would kick the bucket. Now I knew that my biggest mistake was not considering that the people around me were just as much at risk as I was. Whether it be from a car that was going too fast, or a vile disease, everybody was going to die. _Nobody_ was safe. Not even the good ones who didn't deserve to have their life cut so short.

'Elias, listen. I want you to promise me that you're going to look after those three,' Maggie told me on her death bed, 'You _need_ to keep going.'

There was nothing more I wanted to do than cry and scream until my tear ducts were rusted and my throat was bleeding, but there was a weird, unsettling feeling of acceptance in the air that made me nod, 'I promise.'

She squeezed my fingers feebly to get my attention, 'Hey,' I looked up at her and bit down hard on my lip to keep it from trembling. The sparkle was gone from her eyes - they were underscored with deep, black circles. The shine was gone from her hair - it was stringy and limp. The colour was gone from the lips I hadn't kissed nearly enough - they were flaky and pulled thin. The effulgence was gone from her skin - it was grey and cold. Yet, she was still the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on.

'Don't forget about me, okay? I love you, Elias.'

I scoffed to ward off a sob, 'I could never forget you. You were the best thing-' Her eyes had drifted closed and the heart monitor she was hooked up to flat-lined. It could've been from the knowledge that in a mere matter of seconds, the room was going to be filled with nurses, for I was surprisingly calm and unwavering as I got to my feet, leaned down and kissed her lips one last time, 'I love you too, Maggie.'


	2. So Far Away

_**Hey! So, in regards to this chapter, I have a headcanon that was touched upon veeeery briefly in HMN that Keegan and Torch were really close and that he could goof around with him cus they were just that good friends. Then when he went MIA, that's what kind of pushed Keegan to become the proper hard-ass loner that he is. (It was just in case anybody jumped to say that Keegan was out of character!)  
Also, I was thinking of maybe adding Scarlett into the later chapters, all grown up and around Ella's age. I'm still playing around with a few ideas, but what do you guys think?  
Oh, and enjoy! x**_

_***bonus points to whoever recognises where the setting for this chapter came from ;)**_

* * *

**Part 1;  
****Kids From Yesterday**

* * *

_I am right here with you,_  
_I couldn't be more close,_  
_Pretending that I'm in this moment when I'm only a ghost._

_- So Far Away (Red)_

* * *

**Elias Walker**  
**2008**  
**Baghdad, Iraq**

* * *

'I'm telling you, it happened!' Gabriel laughed and leaned back against the ammo crate, '_Anyway_, how's the rugrats, Elias?'

'They're good,' My chest panged at the mention of my kids, 'Ella's still not interested in her dolls. Maggie's probably rolling in her grave at that.'

Merrick scoffed, 'Well, what did you expect? She ain't exactly gonna grow up to be a princess in _your_ family.'

'He's right,' Torch chimed in, 'I have a little sister and two big brothers. My mom was so pissed off when she cut her hair short and told her she wanted to join the army like the rest of us.'

'She got pissed off about _that_?' Keegan propped himself up on his elbows.

'Yup.'

'Your sister signed up anyway though, right?' Kick and Grim stopped cleaning their guns to engage in the conversation. As they spoke, I thought about my children; of the last day I spent with them before getting deployed out here. David was 9 now, and one of the most popular kids in his class. It was going to his head, but for as young as he was, he was showing the signs of being a quality leader; a role-model. I didn't doubt for a second that the nanny I had hired was going to have her hands full with him...

_'Here, Logan, wear this.' I heard the clanging of pans coming from the kitchen, 'And um, Ella, you have to wear this. I get this because I'm the boss.' I stopped on the stairs, not wanting to interrupt whatever it was they were doing. Intrigued, I leaned on the banister and waited. Not a minute later, David came charging through with one of my shirts tied round his neck, wooden spoon in hand. Right behind him came Logan, slower and more disoriented - he had to keep pushing the pan that was on his head up and away from his eyes. Then there was Ella. The boys had ripped a cereal box open just enough for her to jam it onto the crown of her head. _

_'And where do you think you're going?' I used my most commanding tone and smiled when they all froze mid-step. David was the first to turn around. He saw my playful expression and a grin of realisation split his face before he slipped into his best impression of his favourite superhero, complete with a determined pout._

_'Stay back! This one's mine.' My jaw dropped in wonder, and for a moment, I was in complete and utter awe of how he made such a big song and dance of making Logan and Ella stand behind him. The moment shattered when he charged at me head on, spoon raised high. _

_It was the very first time I pictured him as a soldier. _

'Isn't that right, Elias?'

'Huh?' I raised my hand to shield my eyes from the beaming sun and twisted to look at Torch. He was lying shirtless on the dusty, sand-scattered bank with Keegan.

'You wouldn't be pissed off at your girl if she decided to join the army.'

'Hell, no!' I chuckled, 'It would be nice to see her following her Daddy's footsteps.'

'What if she decided to be a ballerina instead?' Gabriel grinned teasingly. Just the thought made me baulk. I would have no idea how to look after her if she grew into a glittering teenage girl that invited all of her friends to the house for sleepovers; that idolised the size zero fashion models in those exaggerated supermarket magazines. She was only 7, but hadn't once asked for her nails to be painted, or to have her hair brushed or to have a big, floaty dress and a tiara. It was all action figures, comic books and toy cars. The nanny was going to be in for a big shock if she thought Ella would be easier to look after...

_After I'd given up and let them win, they carried on their merry way. This time though, there was a spring in their step for managing to take down "the bad guy." I followed behind them, straining my ears to hear David give a grand speech about how nothing could ever stand in their way. It was all recycled lines from the last action movie he'd watched, but it still had me glowing with pride._

_Logan hollered something about a race to the grass and I lengthened my strides. They were careful with their steps, but they were excitable and accidents could happen, especially if they were running right next to the pool. _

_'Go!' I slipped through the French doors just in time to see the three of them breaking into a sprint. They looked ridiculous with the pan and the spoon and the cereal box, and it was that exact silliness that made my heart melt. _

_Suddenly, Ella tripped over her own feet and went sprawling. Panic fluttered in my stomach. It had been three years since Maggie died and I still wasn't used to looking after these kids when they became ill, or if they so much as scraped their knees. Had they been any older, my military side would have kicked in and I would've told them to jump back to it and walk it off. _

_'Ella, honey, you need to watch where you're going!' I crouched down to her level and pulled her back to her feet, scanning every square inch of her skin for cuts or bruises. There was a small, red lump forming on her forehead and there were a few beads of blood bubbling in her palms._

_'I was! They cheated.' She scowled back at her brothers, who were standing kicking the grass sheepishly. _

_'I'll make them run laps later,' I straightened and held my hand out for her to take, 'Come on, you're bleeding. Let's go get you cleaned up.' _

_'Daddy, I'm fine!' Ella rolled her eyes and wiped her hands on her legs, smearing red over the scuffed denim, 'See?' I did see. A bump here and a scrape there, and it was nothing but a pesky inconvenience._

_It was the very first time I pictured her as a soldier._

'Somehow, I don't think ballet's going to interest her that much.' I said.

Gabriel shoved my shoulder, 'Not that she has much choice, right?' I pushed him back playfully, grinning widely. Something clicked, and all of our heads snapped towards the sound, purely out of reflex.

Merrick blinked innocently. In his hands, he held a disposable camera, 'What? Am I not allowed to catch the moments you all actually look _happy_?'

'Just a little warning next time would be great,' Not missing a beat, Torch jumped up and flexed his muscles in an incredibly vain manner, 'Gives me time to get a pose ready.'

Grim blew out a low, growling sigh, 'Keegan...'

'On it.' All it took was one swift kick to the back of his knees and Torch toppled down face-first next to Gabriel. The entire team erupted with laughter. Even when he raised his head and spat out a mouthful of dirt, neither of us could find it within ourselves to help him up.

'The _hell_ was that for?' He whined.

Keegan jerked a thumb towards Grim, 'He told me to.'

'Oh, and if he told you to jump off of a bridge, would you do that too?'

'How high's the bridge?'

'I'm gonna punch you right in the mouth, Russ.'

'Bring it on, Greene.' Nobody batted an eye when they flew at each other. Keegan and Chris were the youngest in the task force, and Kick liked to joke that it was like working with two prepubescent girl scouts most of the time. Once they were done scrapping over... Well, _nothing_, they would bounce straight back to smiling and laughing at each others lame jokes.

They reminded me of my own boys. Maggie never used to allow it, but if they started to fight, then I just let them go at it. It was usually always over within a matter of minutes, and had only ever resulted in one bloody nose on David's part. Logan was more with-drawn and defensive - never the one to hit first. He lashed out when he felt he had to, and that was usually when David pushed him too far. I could imagine the nanny being lulled into a false sense of security by how laid back he first seemed...

_'Alright. Listen up, you three. I have to go away for a while, and I want you to be on your absolute _best _behaviour for Kim, okay?'_

_'We will, Daddy.' Ella's smile wobbled. Seconds later, her entire face crumpled and she fell into me, throwing her skinny little arms around my neck, 'When will you be back?' I scrunched my eyes closed and breathed in deeply to ward off tears of my own. It was always the same, and it never got any easier._

_'Before you know it, darling.' _

_'Love you.' She pressed a sloppy kiss to the side of my face and pulled away. She stepped back and slipped her hand into Logan's. My eyes were sharp, trained, and I clearly saw the way he squeezed her fingers in a silent "It's okay. I'm here."_

_I swallowed thickly, 'I love you too.' Whenever I got deployed, a part of my heart would sink knowing I had to leave my kids again. Nothing hurt more than having to say goodbye to them; knowing that they were growing up with more support from each other than their own father. All I could hope for was that they would understand when they were older. _

_'David-'_

_'No bossing Logan around, no picking on Ella, don't give the nanny a hard time and stick in at school. I know.' David rolled his bright blue eyes at me. The action was so "_Maggie_" that it threw me off for a minute._

_'Good boy.' I ruffled his hair. He ducked away, barked a short laugh, then sobered. His tough I-don't-care attitude dropped. Before I could even blink, he slammed himself against my chest and held me in a firm hug. _

_'Bye, Dad.' He whispered, 'Be careful.' _

_'I always am.' I forced a smile for him and he nodded once. As soon as he moved, Logan jumped straight into his place. He seemed to cling tighter than the other two had; his nails bit into the skin of my shoulder. _

_'Don't worry. I'll look after those two.' He whispered. I smiled softly and muttered back my thanks. He was so intuitive and thoughtful, even when he should've been brash and loud like all the other boys his age. _

_'Ow, _hey_, quit_ _it!' _

_'You started it!' _

_'Nu-uh!' Scuffling and hushed, angry hisses caught our attention and cut our goodbye short. David and Ella were jostling each other. Elbows were being jabbed into ribs and feet were being stomped on and daggers were being glared. I rocked back on my heels and waited to see what the outcome was. _

_'Hey- no- hey! Stop!' Logan wriggled between the both of them and shouldered David away from Ella, 'We have to be on our best behaviour, remember? Kim's coming over soon.' _

_'So?' Ella jabbed her tongue out at him violently and after a moment of consideration, stuck her elbow into his side. I smirked and straightened. These were the kind of moods that always spelt trouble. The kind of trouble that I always so dearly missed taking care of. _

_Logan scowled and pushed her back, watching as she fell and rolled onto her back, 'That's for being horrible.' David started laughing. His eyes were twinkling impishly, but before he had a chance to gloat, Logan pushed him down too, 'And that's for being a bully.'_

_Just like that, the situation was diffused. Logan kept his arms crossed and his chin tilted, daring either of them to kick up another fuss. They didn't. _

_It was the very first time I pictured him as a soldier._

A heaving sigh racked through my chest and I forced my thoughts away from my _rugrats_, as Gabriel liked to call them. The longer I dwelled on how much I missed them, the worse I began to feel. I was doing the best I could, but the longer I was away from them, the more I began to doubt it.

'Chin up, Lieutenant.' Kick prodded the back of my head with the butt of the gun he was holding.

'Sorry,' I said, 'Was just thinking about the kids.'

'Tell me about it, man,' Grim clicked a magazine into his rifle and laid it down, 'Scarlett's first school play was last week and I was stuck here. There's a lot we're going to miss out on, ya know?'

'Sorry about that, Riddian.' I felt for him, I really did. He doted on his little girl like nothing on earth. The last time we'd regrouped after a month off, his nails were painted a bright, glittery pink, all because he'd promised her he would show his friends what a pretty job she did.

'_You're_ sorry? Fuck no, _I'm_ sorry for _you_. You have three! I can't even imagine...' Grim shook his head, momentarily slipping into a world of his own. His dark brown eyes glazed over, and when he finally snapped out of it, he did so with a sharp shake of his head, 'They're worth it though, right?' He slid a grin in my direction. I nodded in agreement.

'They sure are.'


	3. Lion

_**Hey guys. First off, i**__**n regards to a review I received on **_******HMN,**_****__** I am **_******very aware**_****__** of Keegan's age. It was actually going to get brought up in '**_******Saving Logan.********'**_****__** And if you're tired of sis!fics, don't read them, it's that simple.  
**_I also want to apologise in advance for this chapter. It's not very big and it's not very interesting, but I felt I needed to update so this was the result. I've also been having some health problems lately and I've been having some awful trouble in concentrating long enough to get even this chapter written. But here you go!  
Oh, and when I get round to it, the next chapter's gonna be in Hesh's POV as well, so you'll get a break from Elias haha!  
Thanks for your patience, and enjoy! x  


* * *

**Part 1;**  
**Kids From Yesterday**

* * *

_I am just a lion and a lion I will stay._

_- Lion (Hollywood Undead)_

* * *

**Elias Walker**  
**2011**  
**San Diego, California**

* * *

The air was crisp and the grass was crunchy and the branches were bare of leaves. The sky above was a splash of vibrant orange and blood red, blending in beautifully with the last few wisps of the clouds that had been circling the sun all day. Ella's cheeks were nipped pink from the brisk evening breeze, Logan's hair was askew from under his hat and David's hands were covered in scrapes and cuts from where he had been too careless in collecting firewood.

Camping hadn't been the initial plan. The weekend I'd had in mind was hunting, but Ella created a big song and dance about not wanting to kill any animals, and Logan had agreed with her solely because David had said something to annoy him the night before. We'd compromised and I'd taken my revolving shot gun with me and promised David that I'd take him hunting in the morning if he got up early enough.

'Hey, Dad?' From somewhere behind me, Logan's voice floated through the woods. I finished sticking one of the tent poles into the ground and looked up.

'What is it, son?'

'We found a couple of logs over there. Want us to take them over?' Behind him, Ella and Hesh were standing next to the logs in question, already set for picking them up and taking them over. Every fatherly instinct told me to do it myself to save them from hurting themselves, but they were grinning, excited about helping out. They were all getting along and they were happy. They were older now - David was _twelve_! There was no doubt that they could do something as simple as this.

'Sure,' I nodded, 'Just don't put them to close to where the fire's gonna be.'

'Thanks!' He whirled and bounded away before he'd even finished saying the word. I watched them for a moment. Silently, Ella had moved towards the middle of the log to let the boys get an end each. On David's count, they heaved and stumbled, quickly regained their balance. Fear thrummed in my chest every time it seemed their hands slipped or their feet caught on twigs, but they managed. Logan only snapped at Ella twice, and David only raised his voice once, and together they were working seamlessly as a perfect little team. Was this the product of my consistent absence from their lives?

'Need help with the tent?' David rubbed the damp moss from his hands, which only resulted in smearing more dirt into the scratches on his fingers. I'd told him to wear gloves like his brother and sister, but he was approaching his rebellious stage already and had insisted that he didn't need them.

'If you don't mind.' I wanted to make the most of this camping trip to bond with all of my children. I was only home for two weeks this time, then I was away for three months. I'd already missed out on Ella's first day at school, David's first "girlfriend", Logan's first sleepover. It was beginning to take it's toll, and these little moments I did get with them were absolutely precious. I was learning to treasure them above all else.

Logan held his hand out for Ella, 'Come on, we'll go get more wood.'

'This fire's gonna be _huge_!' She giggled and pulled her hat down further. I kept an eye on them from my peripheral vision until David threw one of the hooks at me.

'Look sharp, Dad!' He laughed. I apologised with a grin and we got to work with setting up the rest of the tent. All the while, I made small talk about how school was going for him, how his friends were and just how life had been in general since my previous deployment. His answers were in no way vague or blunt. If anything, he seemed enthusiastic about his class and his friends sounded like a good bunch.

I never got a chance to ask the other two about how they were really doing until the tent was up and the fire was lit. I wanted to know everything and anything about what was going on with them, even if it was about something as small and stupid as finding a ladybug in the garden. But the first order of business had been to fish out the giant marshmallows from our bag and get settled. While we were spearing and roasting them, I nudged Logan's elbow.

'How's school going, kiddo? Enjoying it?'

'It's alright.' He shrugged.

'Just alright?'

'Yeah. I wish I was in the same class as them.' Logan motioned his head towards his siblings, who were bickering quietly about how long you had to leave the marshmallow over the fire before it was perfect to eat.

'Do you not like the class you're in?'

'No, I do.'

'That's good then, isn't it?'

'I guess,' He heaved a large sigh and reached into the bag for another marshmallow, 'There is this nice girl there called Chloe.' His cheeks stained pink even as he spoke her name and my heart swelled proudly. _My boys were growing up._

'She pretty?'

'Yeah.' Logan dipped his head. Ella picked up on it quicker than David and prodded his ribs with the stick she'd been using for the marshmallows.

'Logan and Chloe sitting in a tree...' She sang shrilly.

'Shut up, Ella!' He scowled and pushed her face away. She only bounced back with an even bigger grin than before, pleased with herself for managing to get a reaction. I smiled softly and leaned forward to see her past the guys.

'What about you, sweetheart? School okay?'

To my surprise, she seemed to burst into the epitome of happiness, 'I _love_ school, Dad! All the girls are super friendly and the guys can be mean to us sometimes, but David-'

'For the last time, Ella, it's _Hesh_ now.' David huffed in exasperation.

My eyebrows shot up, 'Hesh?'

'I heard it at the skate park with Lewis and Danny. It means cool or something like that,' David beamed, 'And it sounds cool too.'

'Hesh isn't going to stick, idiot. It's _stupid_.' Ella snapped.

'Well your face is stupid, and that's stuck.'

'What does that even _mean_?'

Logan stayed out of their tiff, tuning it out like it wasn't even happening. I nudged his elbow again, 'This happen a lot?'

'All the time,' He rolled his wide brown eyes, 'They'll stop in a minute, don't worry.' And that was the exact moment that made me question my career. My entire life felt like it had been thrown up into the air and I was just floating. David and Ella's arguments were something I should've been used to like Logan. Knowing that David went out skateboarding with his friends was something I should've been at home worrying about. Explaining to Ella that girls weren't always going to be so friendly was something I should've been preparing myself for. Talking Logan through crushes was something I should've been doing on a regular basis. Instead, I was having to hear about it all second hand and... And I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep this up anymore. I wanted _this_. I wanted the family trips and the school stories.

But then David piped up with a question that put it all into perspective, 'So, Dad, how was work?'

'Excuse me?'

'Work... As in the military? How are _your_ friends?' And they all looked so interested. Their eyes were bright with curiosity and their lips were parted in concentration, just waiting to hang onto my every word.

'It's uh... It's okay, I guess. As good as the military can get.' I chuckled and shook my head, suddenly reminded of when Kick had tried to make everyone smile on a particularly gruelling day by painting on Ajax's face while he was sleeping, 'And my friends... Well, I miss them.'

'Give them a call then,' said Logan, like it was the most simple thing in the entire world.

'Ah, I'll see them again soon enough. They're big boys, they can do without me checking up on them.' I smiled to myself, losing myself for a moment as the fire drew my gaze into the very heart of the flames.

'Will we ever get to meet them?' Ella asked.

It threw me for a second, 'Why would you want to meet those apes?' Like I had hoped, it got a laugh from them all. It was so beautiful to hear them laughing like they didn't have a single care in the world. Which, right now, they didn't. It made me more than content to know I was the one to give that to them.

'Because they make you smile,' David lifted a shoulder lazily, 'And they sound nice.'

'They are nice,' My reply was almost immediate, 'One of them was actually off duty when you were born, Ella. One of the first people to hold you.'

'Which one?'

'The craziest one.' I laughed. I noticed that they all smiled in turn, happy to see me happy. I was suddenly so over-whelmed with emotion that tears sprung unexpectedly to my eyes. To change the subject, I held up the bag of marshmallows and shook them, 'Anyone want anymore? Or should we save some for the morning?'

'Save some for morning! We could lure out the deer with them.' David bounced up and down on the log a few times, bubbling with excitement.

Ella growled, 'Deer don't like marshmallows, _Hesh_.'

'How do you know?'

'Because I'm not _stupid_ like you!'

Logan sighed softly and dipped his hand into the bag, 'Here,' He shoved one onto the end of my stick before doing the same to his own, 'You know, one of my friends said that if I want Chloe to talk to me, I have to pull her hair and call her ugly...'

So went the rest of the night. As a family, we would discuss things such as their favourite morning cartoons and their own little past times, what their bed time routine was and how much they wanted a dog. We would talk about how silly it was that some people didn't listen to music or read books, and we would take some moments to point out the brightest stars in the sky, even going as far as to name them after their favourite cereals and superheroes. David and Ella would go off on one about trivial matters and Logan would use that chance to talk to me about Chloe while they were distracted.

I didn't need to change a single thing. I had everything I wanted and more. Despite the rocky start to the life I'd had with these kids, and the constant threat of elimination with my job, it was perfect. Everything was perfect and nothing needed to change.


	4. I'll Fight

_**Hey guys. Heads up - This is a really short chapter. I'm just drained on motivation and energy at the moment, especially when it comes to this fic. My muse is lacking horribly! If you have any ideas, or just want to see something, then don't be afraid to leave it in a review or drop me a PM. I'd love to brainstorm with you guys.  
So have whatever the heck this is - I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you in the next chapter! - and enjoy! x**_

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**Part 1;**  
**Kids Like Yesterday**

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_Any place, any time,_  
_You gotta know, for you, I'll fight._

_- I'll Fight (Daughtry)_

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**David 'Hesh' Walker**  
**2013**  
**San Diego, California**

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Having a live-in child minder never really bothered any of us. For as long as we could remember, Dad would leave for weeks, sometimes months, at a time. We grew up around it, accepting it, dealing with it. It just meant that I had taken it upon myself to be the man of the house when he was gone. Not that I didn't like Kim - our "baby-sitter" -, I just felt like I needed to be some sort of role model for Ella and Logan when Dad left; like Kim could leave and I would do just as good of a job in looking after all three of us. Maybe when I was older, Dad would trust me more, but I was only 14. I wasn't even legal to get a drivers license yet.

Ella and Logan had always been top priority. Always and forever. When Dad had left last time, he had reminded me sternly to _look after them_. They were both going through awkward phases, and without a solid father or mother figure in their lives, he was concerned that they wouldn't make it through healthy and unscathed. He didn't say it, but I knew he was worried about Logan getting bullied into joining a gang, and Ella turning into a complete and utter princess. So I'd told him that over _my_ dead body would either of those things come even _close_ to truth. He trusted me with that much.

Kim didn't trust us that much. She seemed to view us as fragile, breakable dolls that were emotionally unstable because of the absence of our father. Me and her had gotten into a fair few fights over it. One time, she'd went out and bought a new doll for Ella, then didn't understand why she wasn't playing with it. Scared in case Kim started shouting at her, I'd stepped forward and tried to tell her nicely that Ella preferred playing action figures with us. According to Dad, I had a short temper, so it hadn't gone down quite as "nicely" as I'd hoped it to. Other times, she'd scolded Logan for getting a bit too rough with her when we were wrestling after watching _WWE_ on TV, even going as far as to try and ban us from watching it again. Other than all of that, Kim _was _nice and I really did try my best to be good for her. I tried especially hard to keep Ella and Logan playing up for her too. At least it got me extra brownie points from Dad.

This one particular time he was away, I'd taken them both out with me to the skatepark because they'd been complaining of being bored stuck in the house. So we'd gone out on our bikes. Even though she was 12 now, I hadn't long taught Ella how to ride hers without stabilizers, so I was hanging back with her to make sure she was doing okay while Logan pelted on ahead, grinning and keeping his head tilted against the wind in his face. His blonde hair was getting long and shaggy - Kim and I both agreed on the fact that it needed cut - so it was blowing behind him, getting tangled and knotted. I shook my head, knowing for a fact that he would complain about it later when Ella insisted on brushing it for him before bed.

'Are we meeting your friends at the park?' She asked quietly. Her brow was knitted together in pure concentration and the grip she had on the handlebars was so tight that her knuckles were turning deathly pale.

'You're doing great, Ella. And no, they're grounded after last time.' I smirked, remembering how they had stayed out past their curfew. When their parents had come to pick them up, they'd blurted out the first bad word that had come to their head. We'd learned the swears from the ninth graders that very same day and it was meant to be a secret, but they just couldn't keep their mouths shut.

'Thanks, Hesh.' Her lips twitched up at the corners. I grinned triumphantly, as I always did whenever she called me that. It had taken a good year or two, but she had finally accepted that the name "Hesh" was around to stay. I hardly had anyone calling me David anymore, even the one person that was so against it in the first place.

When we arrived at the park, the first thing she did was jump off of her bike and lean it against one of the benches. Her fingers shook, but she flashed me an enthusisatic thumbs up. It pulled at my heart strings knowing that I would be the one she would turn to whenever she successfully rode that damn thing. It should've been Dad that learned her, and it should've been Dad that got to see her euphoric grins when she managed to keep her feet on the pedals and not fall off.

'Hesh, watch this!' Logan yelled. I pushed my own bangs away off of my forehead and squinted against the sun to see my idiot little brother cycling full speed towards us. Just before he reached us though, he pulled hard on the back brakes and steered into a full circle skid, creating a thick, black mark against the cement.

His face was lit up and he was beaming from ear to ear. As much as I wanted to tell him off for doing something so risky, I nodded slowly instead, 'Impressive. What else can you do?'

'Just watch.' Logan spun away with renewed vigour. He was picking up speed again for something dangerous and stupid probably, when out of nowhere, a football sailed through the air and connected with his chest. Off balance, he wobbled and lost control. Seconds later, the bike went down and he went straight down with it, trapping and scraping his leg and his hip.

'Logan!' Ella and I both rushed over. Blood was oozing from some nasty gravel rash up his forearm and his t-shirt had been torn and ripped straight up the side.

Tears welled in his brown eyes, but he struggled and fought to hold them back, 'I'm fine, I'm fine.' He kept repeating the words, almost as if he was trying to convince himself more than us that he was okay.

'Whoa, hey, sorry dude!' One of the group of kids from the grass near the skating ramps came jogging over, 'Didn't see you there.'

'Did you kick that?' I motioned towards the ball. The kid nodded. Anger bubbled in my chest at his blank expression; at his blatant lack of sympathy towards what he had done, 'And all you can say is _sorry dude_?'

'It's fine, Hesh.' Logan squeezed out from beneath his bike, clutching his bleeding arm against his stomach, 'He didn't mean it.'

'I don't care if he didn't mean it!' I stood up and stared the kid down. He must've only been a year or two younger than me, but I was in the middle of a growth spurt, so I was sure as hell taller than him, and right now I would use anything to my advantage to get this little brat back for making Logan bleed.

'It was an accident, man!' The kid held up his hands in a peaceful gesture, but I was beyond reasoning. I was seeing red. In my mind's eye, I saw the way Logan had gone down, saw the way that ball had connected against his ribs. Clenching my hands, I took a step back, then threw all my weight forward to plough one of my fists into the boy's face. I heard a crunch in his nose as he fell, but I didn't feel any better at all.

'David, stop!' Ella's hand was on my ankle, holding on tightly to try and save me from moving. The shock at hearing her say my real name again was enough to pull me away from the edge of a complete rage. I dropped to my knees next to them and just stared slack-jawed at the kid as he scrambled back to his feet, whimpering and crying and trying to slow the blood flowing from his nose.

'You okay, Logan?' I asked.

'Yeah.' He sniffed and smiled, 'Thanks, Hesh. You didn't have to, but thanks.'

'Of course I had to! You're my baby brother. Anybody hurts you, then they've got me to answer to. That's just the way it works, right?' I offered my hand out to him and pulled him to his feet at the same time I rose to mine. Ella jumped up and scampered to pick up the ball that had caused all of this in the first place.

'Pass it here.' Once the ball was placed in my hands, I faced away from the group and booted it even further away. I looked at Ella and Logan, 'Too far?'

Ella's nose crinkled, 'Just a little bit, you big bully.'

I shrugged and threw an arm round Logan's shoulder gently, 'Well, you know what? I really don't give a fuck.'

They both gasped at the same time, 'Hesh, you just said-'

'I know what I said. Just don't tell Kim, okay?'

'Okay.'

'Promise?'

'Promise.'


End file.
